How to deal with Likes and Dislikes - in the Context of ancient Indian Philosophy

Sister and Brother Photo by Amr Elmasry on Unsplash

Almost everything that we do and experience in our everyday life is the outcome of likes and dislikes- our own and that of others. When the little one wants nothing but junk food for dinner, when the old man mutters between his teeth eating the Biryani, when the mother is horrified by her daughter's choice of dress, when the daughter-in-law wants to replace the old kitchen utensils, when the painter chooses the pink colour, when the critic dismisses the artwork, when the commuter chooses the window seat, when the young man delights in playing video games,... It is all a play of likes and dislikes.

The Digital World - a new dimension

Internet forums, new websites, blogs and social networking sites prompt their users to freely express

their views. Sitting in a corner of the world one can by clicking on a button, affect, for better or worse, the personal and social lives of individuals living thousands kilometers away. Web-businesses too are built and dismantled by the power of these like-dislike expressions. Every moment thousands of people across the world use these icons to express their opinion on all kinds of content and issues.

Truly, likes and dislikes are the wheels of our lives.

But a point often missed even by sincere spiritual aspirants is that we strengthen our bondage to the mundane superficial life every time we identify with our likes or dislikes.     

Over time repeated likes and dislikes deepen into strong attachment and aversion which prevents sane judgement. Attachment is that which follows the experience of pleasure. And aversion is that which follows the experience of pain. Each of us has attachments and aversions accumulated as cultural attachments over our many lives and also acquired in the present life.

The Kathopanishad tells us that the Supreme Self present in every individual created the sense organs with natural outgoing tendencies. It is therefore that a man perceives only outer objects with them and not the inner ever free, blissful Self. In the Bhagvad Gita too, Sri Krishna warns,

Attachment and aversion of the sense organs, for their respective sense objects are natural; let none come under their sway; they are one's highway robbers.

Flowing by their very nature toward the sense objects, the turbulent senses rob us of our powers of discrimination. Hence we identify ourselves with body and experience the fruit of action.

 The Analogy of Fish Basket

Sri Ramakrishna

The story of the fisher-woman narrated by Sri Ramakrishna explains the power of the senses. Once a fisher-woman was a guest of a flower seller. She came there with her empty basket, after selling fish in the market, and was asked to sleep in a room where flowers were kept. But, because of the fragrance of the flowers, she could not get to sleep for a long time. Her hostess saw her condition and asked for the reason of her restlessness. The fisher-woman said, 

I don't know, friend. Perhaps the smell of the flowers has been disturbing my sleep. Can you give me my fish-basket? Perhaps that will put me to sleep.

The basket was brought to her. She sprinkled water on it and set it near her nose. Then she fell sound asleep and snored all night.

We all have our own cherished fish-baskets. It may be our attachment for a person, a thing or an idea which prevents us from appreciating the fragrance of divinity ever present within us. It is only when we see the fish-basket for what it is, that we begin our spiritual journey. The attempt to break free from the bondage of likes and dislikes is the preliminary step in one's spiritual journey.

Some Methodologies to overcome the likes and dislikes paradox

To overcome attachment to the ephemeral world, scriptures and saints advise us to give such attachment a higher turn by cultivating a love for moral and spiritual values and activities. 

Detachment

One of the prescribed methods is to detach ourselves at will from our sense experiences. To detach is to abstain, now and then, from the sense objects that strongly attract us. Traditional religious vows and worship are designed to help us in attaining such a detachment.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness or keeping a constant alert watch over the cravings of the senses and the workings of our pet ideas is another simple and effective way. 

Understanding Real Worth

The process of discriminating and realizing the real worth of sense experiences is one more powerful practice.

Sri Ramakrishna says,

Once I had the desire to put on a gold-embroidered robe, wear a ring on my finger and smoke a hubble-bubble with a long pipe. Mathur Babu procured all these things for me. I wore the gold-embroidered robe and said to myself after a while. 'Mind! This is what is called gold-embroidered robe'. Then I took it off and throw it away. I could not stand the robe any more. Again I said to myself, 'Mind! This is called a shawl, and this is ring and this smoking a hubble-bubble with a long pipe.' I threw those things away once for all and the desire to experience them never arose in my mind again.

Prayer and Japa

Sri Sarada Devi

    

Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi often advised devotees to be engaged in prayer and japa. Repeating the Lord's name subdues the outgoing tendency of the senses and purifies the mind. Such a purified mind is then drawn to the Lord. 

Sri Ramakrishna declares that we can realize God when we direct towards Him, the combined force of three attractions:

1. the mother's attraction towards her child
2. the chaste wife's attraction towards her husband
3. the worldly man's attraction towards worldly possessions

The power of aversion should be directed towards that which obstructs our spiritual progress. In the first step we have to detect and develop a dislike towards our 'fish-baskets' . Once established in this, one should strive to become indifferent towards them. And in the final stage, we will be able to see and accept them as manifestations of the Lord.

Conclusion

The purpose of life is to go within and realize the Supreme Self. But anger and hatred or attachments and aversions keep us entangled with the outer world and rob us of equanimity. The challenge is to remain unaffected and give them a God-ward turn.